This is my weekly column for the Sunday, May 30, 2010 edition of the Hibbing Daily Tribune. A shorter version of this piece was broadcast on the recent episode of 91.7 KAXE's "Between You and Me."

A furtive glance at an old metal friend
By Aaron J. Brown

Having grown up around truckers and mechanics I am suitably thankful I don’t have to pay any sort of fee on all the axles in my garage right now. Unfortunately for my image in this testosterone-drenched manscape of the Iron Range, few of these axles are attached to anything other than colorful plastic wheels. Excluding the collection of generally functional lawnmowers and the typically safe, reliable family cars, the rest of our wheelage consists of what our three boys collectively refer to as “bikes.” The boys spend hours circling these contraptions around our driveway, yelling and laughing – usually with glee, sometimes with malice.

Some of these things really are bikes, others fall into the category of “novelty child-powered devices.” Many bicycles are actually tricycles, but not all trikes are bikes as others qualify as “big wheels.” I’ve heard others describe them incorrectly as “hot wheels,” baiting a lawsuit from Mattel. The operative word, however, remains “wheel.”

Naturally, with all of these bikes running all of the time, good old dad has some time to spend contemplating the universe between horrific pile-up crashes. Near the back corner of the garage, across from the boat motor I don’t know how to operate and underneath the shelves full of things I can’t properly identify, I see an old friend. Among the many wheels in this garage are two that belong to the bike my wife gave me as an engagement present after I totaled my “single man” bike on a bump on the Carey Lake Trail. (Hear that, Hibbing? Can you believe that ten years ago the Carey Lake Trail would fall into such disrepair? Good thing that got fixed, right?) This new bike and I didn’t break any records together, for speed or distance, but I did ride it to work everyday when we lived in town and took it out on the Mesabi Trail whenever I could.

I think it was 2006, the last year I rode the big annual August bike tour on the Mesabi Trail. I was leaving Buhl for the anchor leg heading into Chisholm. I was going faster than I should have at one point and did this crazy Dukes of Hazzard maneuver on a 90 degree turn. My bike tires skidded oddly across the pavement, bending one of the wheels. I managed to get the thing back to the finish line, probably damaging the wheel even more in the process. I returned the bike to its place in the garage, intending to bring it in for repairs soon, and the bike has remained in the same spot ever since. The tires are flat. A layer of dust covers the seat and frame. Of all the “bikes” in the garage, this mother bike is the only one that can’t be ridden.

For it was after this time that I first started getting busier at work, settling into a rural life that favored a dirt bike instead, then eventually occasional runs or walks, and then the loss of free time that comes with adding a set of twins onto a family that already includes a toddler. Time got away from me and my old friend paid the price, enduring cold winters in the garage without the reward of hard climbs and smooth glides.

I see you there, old friend. This summer you and I are going to the shop. Some person who knows what a wrench is supposed to do will do something, I assume it is magic, and your wheel will spin free. Your tires will fill with air and you will ride again. Just be prepared for the fact that these rides will probably be completed in tight circles, mostly within the bounds of the driveway. That’s how we roll now.

Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune. Read more at MinnesotaBrown.com or in his book “Overburden: Modern Life on the Iron Range.”

It's all over folks. Dylan Days 2010 is in the history books. And while we didn't see Bob Dylan himself, that's OK. Plenty of great memories were created all the same. This morning there's a farewell brunch at Zimmy's, but for the most part the hundreds of visitors who stopped into Hibbing this weekend to celebrate Bob Dylan and the arts on the Iron Range are on the road. Thanks to everyone who came, from attendees to artists, writers and musicians.

Next year brings Bob Dylan's 70th birthday and a whole new reason to celebrate. Follow Dylan Days at the website www.dylandays.com, on Facebook or Twitter.

Saturday is traditionally the biggest day of Dylan Days in Bob Dylan's hometown of Hibbing, Minnesota. Hundreds of people are expected to be wandering the streets of the town and attending a wide range of events. Enjoy!

• Dylan Days Bus Tour 10:30 am – 2:30 pm. A fascinating guided tour of the Hibbing that inspired a young Bob Dylan. Tickets are $15 (includes a Dylan Days button).
• Dylan Days U.S. Postal Cancellation at Zimmy’s 12:00–4:00 pm.
• Zimmy’s Dylan Days Art Exhibition – entries from local artists from SoHo and others from around the globe, many of which are for sale Saturday afternoon.
• William Meissner signing copies of his novel “Spirits in the Grass” and Dylan-inspired poetry at Howard Street Booksellers 2:30-3:30 p.m.
• Dan Bergan & Larry Ryan signing copies of their new DVD “Hibbing High School and Its History” at Howard Street Booksellers 2:30-3:30 pm.
• Dylan Days “Second” Singer-Songwriter Contest at Zimmys 3-6 pm for those from
• Friday night’s waiting list.
• Hibbing Arts Council Benefit Concert featuring Big Dipper Jazz Band including an opening act by Wheeler Dealers at the Little Theater in the Hibbing Memorial Building at 7 pm. Tickets are additional.
• Freewheelers from Duluth, Minnesota perform some Dylan favorites and other music at Zimmy’s 10 p.m.– 1 a.m.

Tomorrow brings the "farewell" brunch at Zimmy's and the everlasting promise of even more fun next year. Follow Dylan Days at the website www.dylandays.com, on Facebook or Twitter.

Tune in to Saturday morning's "Between You and Me" on 91.7 KAXE for more fun than you can fit in a flowered basket on a set of handlebars. I'll be joining in with an essay to suit the week's topic: bicycles. Every week the show explores a usually relevant, sometimes random subject and allows the people of northern Minnesota to share their voices and ideas on the radio. Add in some music and commentary from top shelf regional hacks like yours truly and you have "Between You and Me."

Listen from 10 a.m. to noon on 91.7 FM in northern Minnesota or streaming live all over the world at www.kaxe.org. The show and my essays are archived at www.prx.org.

Today is when Dylan Days 2010 really heats up with our major events. This year we're experimenting with holding the literary event in the afternoon to catch the early arrivals for the night's big songwriter contest. Please come out to see one or both, but we especially hope to build a crowd to support the one act play and the writers and poets traveling from all over. This year's play is controversial and what director Mike Ricci and the cast have done with just one week of preparation is truly astounding.

• Dylan Days Literary Showcase at HCC Theater 3-5 p.m., featuring winning entries from B.J. Rolfzen Creative Writing Contest and the world premier of the winning play from the Dylan Days One Act Playwright Contest, "Armigideon" by Sandra Dempsey.
• Dylan Days Singer-Songwriter Contest at Zimmy’s 7-midnight. The 18th annual "Bob's Birthday Bash" event, featuring talented songwriters from around the world.

Tomorrow morning brings the "Bobby Zimmerman Bus Tour," a host of afternoon author signings and presentations and concludes with a ton of live music, including the Dylan Days Benefit Concert with the Big Dipper Jazz band and the Freewheelers.

Follow Dylan Days at the website www.dylandays.com, on Facebook or Twitter.

Some statistics from a recent regional high school graduation story in the Hibbing Daily Tribune:

Cherry School: 24 seniors
Nashwauk-Keewatin High School: 52 seniors
Chisholm High School: 44 seniors
Hibbing High School: 146 seniors

The headline for the story was "Graduates abound" and these stats were included with information such as class colors, motto and song. For instance, Nashwauk-Keewatin's senior class song is "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. I don't think "abound" is the right word for these numbers, do you? If my feeling that I am holding on to is right, these reflect about 40-50 percent drops since the 1980s. We're going to need to crank that Journey and turn things around.

I forgot to mention some of the ongoing events during Dylan Days this weekend.

• Hibbing Public Library Dylan Days Art Exhibition - entries from student artists in grades K-12 (ages 17 and under) plus the library’s Dylan Exhibit. Open Mon-Thur 9 a.m.–8 p.m. & Fri 9 a.m.– 5 p.m.
• Hibbing Historical Society Museum – check out the history of Bob’s hometown. Open Fri-Sat 10 a.m.–4 p.m. Free Admission.

A few Minnesota politics notes to pass along:

Duluth Mayor Don Ness endorsed Margaret Anderson Kelliher in the DFL primary battle for governor. With Duluth's state senator Yvonne Prettner Solon having joined Mark Dayton's ticket, this demonstrates a pretty powerful counterpunch for Kelliher in the 8th, showing that she will contest this ground. She made a tour of the Range and Duluth this week and has promised to return soon. She has the support of several Range lawmakers, including her longtime right hand in the House leadership, Rep. Tony Sertich (DFL-Chisholm).

Speaking of that SD7 seat held by Prettner Solon, Rep. Roger Reinert (DFL-Duluth) has filed for the office. City Councilor Patrick Boyle, who was recommended for the seat by Prettner Solon herself in her announcement speech, opted not to run and has endorsed Reinert. Looks like clear sailing for Reinert on the DFL side.

That will leave an opening in House district 7B, which includes West Duluth, the central hillside and downtown. I hear that Duluth City Councilor and former DFL party officer Kerry Gauthier is planning a run. I've also heard the name Sue Anderson and there are probably others. Internal DFL politics will probably play a role in this seat as a key decision over whether to endorse a candidate will need to be made before the August primary. Last time this happened -- just two years ago -- they had it out in the primary.

The Duluth wranglings also beg the question, who will the Republicans field for these seats? As it stands Rilla Debot Opelt has filed to run for SD7 and Travis Silvers has filed for HD7B. These aren't very well known names. City councilor Jim Stauber is among the city's most well known Republicans, but he hasn't announced a run for either office. A GOP reader has suggested Chris Dahlberg, a St. Louis County commissioner, to me as another potential prominent Republican candidate. Both would face an uphill battle, but probably represent the party's best hope to gain a foothold in this DFL town.

In reminding the world that this is a strange blog, that covers what I damn well please, let me remind all of you that today brings the first day of Dylan Days in Hibbing, Minnesota, an arts event celebrating not just the legend of Hibbing's own Bobby Zimmerman, but also the hope spurred by the arts in blue collar places. Thursday is the day we welcome the early visitors who want to get settled in for all the fun. Tonight brings the opening celebrations.

• Historical Room Dedication at Hibbing High School – a brand new exhibit that catalogs and traces the artwork and artifacts of this historic building 4-5:30 pm.
• B.J. Rolfzen Tribute at Zimmy’s 6-8 p.m. An informal event where everyone is invited to bring with them a poem or song they would like to recite or sing to honor this man, teacher and Dylan Days ambassador.
• Grunt Monkeys with lead singer, Jim Foster at Zimmy’s 8 p.m.-midnight, return to Hibbing from Anchorage, Alaska to perform their music.

In addition to these "scheduled" events, there will be a special preview of the Dylan Days One Act Playwright competition winning play "Armigideon" by accomplished Canadian playwright Sandra Dempsey at the HCC Theater at 7:30 ($5 requested admission). Friday brings the Literary Showcase featuring the official performance of this provocative play and the winners of the B.J. Rolfzen fiction and poetry contest (free with Dylan Days button, seen at above right). The annual highlight, the singer/songwriter contest, is on deck Friday night, along with much more.

Follow Dylan Days at the website www.dylandays.com, on Facebook or Twitter.

State Rep. Roger Reinert (DFL-Duluth) announced tonight he would file to run for the Minnesota State Senate District 7 seat tomorrow. This is the seat being vacated by Sen. Yvonne Prettner Solon, who was recently selected to be Mark Dayton's running mate in the Governor/Lt. Governor race.

As I said earlier, Reinert is the prohibitive favorite against any of the Duluth city councilors, labor organizers and others who might consider a run. Though I don't know him extremely well yet (this Iron Range forest dweller doesn't visit the big town all that often), my political observations of him are that he's a hard worker and a very conscientious person. His first term in the House was marked by a good deal more success than your average freshman. We need worker bees in northern Minnesota, not egos or old thinking. Reinert doesn't own a monopoly on what we need, but his position gives him huge advantages.

Naturally, any open seat election gives an opportunity to the opposition. The GOP will have an interesting time selecting a candidate that can compete with the DFL nominee in this DFL town. A moderate would be more competitive, but the party base is strongly conservative. If someone has a lead on the GOP favorites, by all means speak up. And if I'm off that Reinert is the favorite here, let me know.

Yesterday I raised the question of who might run for the DFL nomination for state senate in District 7 now that Yvonne Prettner Solon is running for Lt. Gov. with Mark Dayton. This district is wholly enclosed within the city of Duluth and the person who holds that seat becomes a very important leader in the policy and economic development of the region. Candidate speculation was pretty quiet and all of the media talk seems to be focusing on two names, one of which I also floated.

State Rep. Roger Reinert (DFL-Duluth) who represents the blue collar west side of the city and downtown has distinguished himself as an effective lawmaker and strong campaigner in his first term. He seems a logical choice to move "up" (sorry House members) to the Senate. But then yesterday in her Lt. Gov. howdy-do speech Prettner Solon said she'll be backing City Councilor Patrick Boyle for her seat. I don't know Boyle as well or much about him, other than he's the son of former Wisconsin Assemblyman Frank Boyle from Superior. I interviewed the elder Boyle several times when I worked for KUWS, the Wisconsin Public Radio affiliate in Superior. Frank is short, mustachioed and outspoken, the Wisconsin version of Tom Rukavina. His son does not have a mustache and that's about all I know. I'm sure I'll get a chance to talk to him at some point.

What's interesting is that Prettner Solon went so far as to indicate a preference for a successor in her speech. Additionally interesting is that Patrick Boyle told the media he's still thinking about it and doesn't want a primary fight. I don't see how Boyle (or, frankly, anyone) beats Reinert in a primary if Reinert runs, but if Reinert holds off his decision until next week it will create a situation where the DFL is going to have a clear field for either Reinert or Boyle. In essence, Prettner Solon froze the primary field. Not sure if that was intentional, but if it was it's pretty damn brilliant.

Unless, of course, I'm wrong. I am that sometimes.

I have to go do some real stuff now but, howdy hey, Mark Dayton's selection of State Sen. Yvonne Prettner Solon as his running mate also opens up a state senate seat in the heart of Duluth, a DFL bastion with a pretty deep political bench. Use the comment thread to speculate or announce your candidacy. I'll be checking into this later and will try to have something up this week. I know it's uncouth to talk about this so soon but when strongly partisan districts do a piss-poor job of picking candidates it messes up my world. So I'm raising the issue.

My theory: Roger Reinert if he wants it. If he doesn't, madness.

I had intended to wait until all three major DFL candidates for governor picked their running mates, but now that Margaret Anderson Kelliher and Mark Dayton have made their selections I already see a fascinating dynamic forming. Matt Entenza is due to add fuel to the fire on Thursday when he announces his running mate.

Last Friday, Anderson Kelliher selected John Gunyou, the Minnetonka city manager and former GOP Finance Commissioner under Gov. Arne Carlson. This is bold play for fiscal moderates with an eye on the general election. GOP prattling that it was a desperate primary move is, itself, a desperate concession that this helps MAK in the general and reframes her candidacy. Gunyou was endorsed without incident by the DFL central committee this past weekend. On the down side, an all-metro ticket remains unappealing for "traditional" greater Minnesota primary voters, particularly here on the Iron Range where the Steelworkers already shook things up by endorsing Dayton recently. AFSCME Council 5, a strong force in local organizations all over the state, also endorsed Dayton a long time ago. (CLARIFICATION: AFSCME Council 65 endorsed Anderson Kelliher. They represent many northern Minnesota worksites). Further, Gunyou's going to barnstorm the state and talk about responsible budgeting? If that was something people wanted to hear we'd have a responsible budget right now. Nevertheless, I'm calling the pick a net positive for Kelliher.

I must admit the Gunyou pick spurred two very strong, opposing emotions in me. First, the technocratic, modern, pragmatic liberal hipster in me was all like, "Right on, MAK!" Nab the middle, shore up support in the areas where DFL candidates have been weak in the past. At the same time, the part of me that grew up campaigning in Iron Range union halls, bars and pancake feeds slammed down my cup of mead, shook my sabre at the sky and cursed the Gods of War. "Minnetonka!" I screamed. "Of all places, must he be from Minnetonka, the jackals' den!?" I suspect others also felt this way and this is probably due more to the gradual evolution of the Democratic political coalition which started in 2004 and is not yet complete. I'll have more on this when I have the time, but last month's state DFL convention probably illustrated the hard lurches going on better than anything else. In short, the cool young people did not win this time.

About that Dayton fellow. Today Dayton selected Duluth State Sen. Yvonne Prettner Solon to be his running mate. This provides regional balance, gender balance and additional 8th CD bonafieds. Prettner Solon was originally with Tom Bakk, then went to R.T. Rybak and going with Dayton now throws a wrench in Anderson Kelliher's hopes to quickly consolidate Rybak's supporters behind her. On the down side, Prettner Solon does a lot to get Duluth votes but less to get Range votes. While it's not unthinkable for a Range lawmaker to endorse Dayton, I still see most of them lining up with Margaret, many of them -- including Tony Sertich, Tom Anzelc, Tom Saxhaug and Tom Rukavina -- already doing so publicly. But I had previously believed that a Duluth or Range running mate would make Dayton the frontrunner in the Eighth and this selection more or less confirms that as the current political reality.

Dayton leads in the first MPR statewide poll (a vague lead), enjoys name recognition and seems to be consolidating 8th CD and some rural support. Anderson Kelliher is making a play for Hennepin County in general and will strongly contest her native southern Minnesota farmland (which could be quite a battlefield, with all three DFL candidates having roots there). What play does St. Paul's Matt Entenza have? He's the only one with TV ads -- pretty good ones, actually, even if he hasn't caught fire with the voters yet. Does he try to go out to the countryside? My guess is no. He'd have to go pretty hardcore rural for it to make any difference. I mean, we're talking Constable Jeebus "Scruffy" Backwater (DFL-Togo). I don't see it. So...

Here's a thought. Let us suppose DFL primaries are won in the 4th, (St. Paul and suburbs) 5th (Minneapolis and suburbs) and 8th (Iron Range/Duluth) CDs and the candidates more or less split up the rest (my guess). If Dayton wins the 8th, Anderson Kelliher the 5th, wouldn't Entenza's best chance be too drive them out of the 4th with an all-St. Paul ticket? A Susan Gaertner or someone from South St. Paul? Just a thought. We'll see if I'm right.

And the beat goes on.

UPDATE: I am way off, it appears, on Entenza's options. MNPublius is reporting that outgoing Fox9 anchor Robyne Robinson is under consideration. Did not see that coming. We'll see how good that rumor is; probably a good deal better than my idle speculation.

UPDATE 2: Oh, snap, I screwed up something else. While the larger AFSCME Council 5 endorsed Dayton, the northern AFSCME Council 65, whose office I drive by every day, endorsed Anderson Kelliher. This changes the context of what I wrote. In essence, Dayton holds an advantage on the Range because of name recognition and the Steelworkers endorsement. He does now, but Anderson Kelliher will be a factor here and who knows? Because life is funny.

This is my column for the Sunday, May 23, 2010 edition of the Hibbing Daily Tribune.

Goin’ viral (a good thing, I think)
By Aaron J. Brown

By now, if you are at all inclined to care, you’ve seen the “Come Home Bob” campaign sponsored by the Iron Range Convention and Tourism Board. The gist is that the Iron Range is personally inviting Hibbing High School alumnus Bob Dylan to come home to the Iron Range to be honored for his contributions to arts and culture. You might have noticed that I, your friendly local whatever-I am, was the lead pitchman in the series of videos that accompany the plea. Anyway, you can go check that out if you want but that’s not why I’m here today.

Isn’t it strange, really, how life can direct you into strange corners of the internet? (No, not those corners. The ones suitable for a family newspaper). Just over a decade ago I was a skeptical student of the Internet and a casual fan of Bob Dylan, mostly on account of him being from Hibbing. Now I’m some guy whose giant head is floating around in something called a “viral video” extolling the global impact of Bob Dylan. Believe me, I didn’t plan this when the whole thing started.

I had a similar thought when I was watching the You Tube videos for Duluth’s campaign to attract Google Fiber, an experimental high speed internet service being tested by the internet’s most influential company. Duluth Mayor Don Ness, someone I’ve known for a while, was shown jumping into the icy winter waters of Lake Superior to demonstrate his dedication to wooing Google Fiber for Duluth. Now, did the mayor start that process saying, “I want Google Fiber, so I’m going to jump in a lake and put it on the internet?” No, I am betting he did not. A series of events occurred, one after the other, until the frigid lake of pain was the only logical conclusion.

I got the good end of this deal. I just did a few videos and asked Bob Dylan to come back to Hibbing for a visit. Thirty-three percent of these videos took place at a bar. No harm there. And maybe Bob Dylan shows up to accept a key to the city, and maybe he doesn’t. Maybe Google Fiber comes to Duluth and maybe it doesn’t. Maybe people buy a whole mess of Diet Coke tomorrow, and maybe they don’t. That’s the new world of marketing and public relations. Traditional media – TV, radio, newspapers, etc. – is not dead, but it is changing. More than ever, the use of “viral” media blasts will become normal until the market orients itself and moves to what’s next.

One of the cool things about Bob Dylan is how he’s spent his whole life borrowing from the classics of folk, rock and literature and yet has remained steadfast in preventing his categorization. Human nature, after all, seems to almost demand a category for all types. People want to know who’s the loser, the creep, the jock, the ace, the cheerleader and the dinosaur. They need people to fill those roles, because that’s the easiest way to figure out this world. The hard truth is that everyone’s label is potentially inaccurate, for one, and secondly probably due to a series of events that were not initially planned. Is this like catching a virus? A viral video? Perhaps.

At any rate, one thing is for certain. Dylan Days is coming up this week in Hibbing and regardless of the fervor in your opinion of Bob there’s probably something you’ll find to enjoy. This year the focus has been to highlight Minnesota and particularly northern Minnesota talent and topics. A new local band made up of experienced jazz musicians “The Big Dipper Jazz Band” and several Minnesota writers and artists will be part of the event, along with traditional events like the singer/songwriter contest and bus tour, not to mention the dozens of out-of-town visitors touring the streets. Did I tell you this because of who I am, the Dylan Days guy, or because I thought you’d like to know? Uh-oh, what if the answer is both?

Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune. Read more at MinnesotaBrown.com or in his book “Overburden: Modern Life on the Iron Range.”

I haven't had time to fully develop my thoughts about today's Lt. Gov. pick of John Gunyou by Margaret Anderson Kelliher, the DFL endorsed candidate for governor, other than "Kelliher/Gunyou" is a very menacing name for a ticket. That's a ticket that rolls in its 5.0 with its rag top down so it's hair can blow. But seriously, I do have real opinions and will share them after Mark Dayton and Matt Entenza announce their picks next week. In essence, I agree with Doug Grow's assessment today in MinnPost. The thoughts I have are related to regional politics specific to the Iron Range and how they contrast with the general election/governing strategy Anderson Kelliher is using here.

Tune in Saturday from 10 a.m. to noon to hear my contribution to "Between You and Me" on 91.7 KAXE. "Between You and Me" features a new topic each week and features the voices of northern Minnesota through phone calls, music and commentaries by folks like me. This week's topic is diet and exercise. I'll be revisiting my thoughts on jump suits as they relate to body type that I explored in a column a few weeks ago. That's also when I kicked off my new diet. It's really funny but I have no time to explain because I'm on pills, pills, pills! By the by, I'm down 13 pounds, at least until I get a crack at those Cheddarwursts tonight.

You can hear "Between You and Me" from 10 to noon Saturday on 91.7 FM in northern Minnesota and streaming live all over the world at www.kaxe.org. Complete shows and my essays are also searchable at prx.org.

The season of Dylan Days is upon us, so excuse my infrequent posting and harried nature. Dylan Days, May 27-30 in Hibbing, is a community celebration of the arts and Minnesota native Bob Dylan who grew up in this Iron Range town. For the last nine years I've served as something of a spokesperson/ambassador for this event in addition to coordinating the Dylan Days literary events and editing the program/journal "Talkin' Blues." The press got an early start this year with the Iron Range Tourism campaign "Come Home Bob," which featured yours truly doing my best Lorne Michaels impersonation.

Jean Cole from Hometown Focus posted a Q&A about Dylan Days and Come Home Bob. This one ended up being kind of fun because I managed to avoid falling into soundbite syndrome and said some interesting, probably inadvisable things. Additional stories with the Hibbing Daily Tribune and other media venues will be coming out this week through next.

Follow Dylan Days on Twitter @dylandays or "like it" on Facebook.

UPDATE: You can also catch WDSE Channel 8's show The Playlist, which aired last night but is online and replaying tonight at midnight. Bob and Linda from Zimmy's do the main interview, but they also air a segment they shot a week or so ago where I drive around Hibbing talking about various Dylan things.

Oh, how I've enjoyed not writing about Excelsior Energy's proposed Iron Range coal gasification plant, dubbed the Mesaba Energy Project, these last several months. Fans of this blog might remember my tireless bellowing about this topic over the past four years ... no wait, it's actually been seven. I could rehash it now, but let's cut to the news.

Today Excelsior Energy was dealt a setback. Its appeal of the Public Utility Commission's decision NOT to force Xcel Energy to purchase electricity from this yet-to-exist experimental facility was rejected. In other words, still no customer for the theoretical electricity. Xcel Energy and Minnesota Power's appeal of the MEP's designation as an innovative energy project was also, loosely speaking, rejected in favor of the PUC's call that EE met the criteria for an IEP. In other words the court said keep up the good work PUC. And since the PUC has left this project, its supporters and opponents in a sort of hellish, money-sucking limbo for all time, this is not helpful for anyone.

PUC, IEP, EE, Xcel and MP ... we didn't start the fire. It was always burning since the world's been ... OK, I'll stop.

In essence, the same thing that always happens on this story happened again. Largely speaking, this project remains a boondoggle propped up solely by political support and political capital from local, state and federal officials. The technology and economics of the whole thing remain questionable at best, and that's not even raising the environmental issues. The Mesaba Project has no customer, only a thin hold on permits and is proposed to be built on on a site where the capture and storage of carbon is geologically impossible. But because Excelsior's organization is essentially a very experienced, accomplished lobbying firm it manages at every turn to get a result that's quantifiably bad but that can be spun to sound good. This will remain true as long as Excelsior has money. It's hard to say how much of the federal and state grants and Iron Range Resources loan money they have left, but I'm sure they'll have enough to get on the news tonight with some hugely positive spin. Take that with a grain of salt. If you don't hear much, it means they're broke.

Meantime, the Iron Range just wants jobs. Jobs, jobs, jobs. Sound familiar? How can you be against jobs, Brown? Jobs, jobs, jobs. Jobsy jobarooni. Here's why. This project will never be built. This project is one of the few things I've encountered that makes me want to be a libertarian, which will make my dad very happy. So I guess that's the only thing I got out of this personally. Uh, thanks? Meantime, real new jobs can only come from three sources: private sector innovation, nonprofit innovation and public works and services. Note that I do not include lobbying innovation, which is what Excelsior Energy is. Had Excelsior come to the table with private capital and/or public ownership I'd be wearing their hat right now. I might have even taken up golf and back slapping. Alas, I still hate golf.

Carol Overland, a legal counsel for some of the opponents to the project, offers her assessment here. The full ruling is here. My past writings are here. This is my 72nd post on Excelsior Energy. Not proud of that. Too bad those weren't billable hours. Am I right people? Ha ha!

This Lexington column from The Economist exudes many of the sentiments I've had about the possibilities for rural Minnesota and the Iron Range, if it steps up its internet infrastructure one way or another. This column is about "the delights of Idaho," but don't judge. The truth is that in coming decades more people, not fewer, will be trained professionals with complete choice over the physical location of work. Though this is now a niche market, and will remain as such for a time, it's reason for hope for places with natural amenities, educational strength and economic development resources. Say what you will about the Iron Range, but we've got those things. This is an opportunity.

My column from last week about my failed experience as a Boy Scout and my snarky comments about the Boy Scouts' new "video game" badge has drawn fire. Today a letter to the editor in the Hibbing Daily Tribune from a regional Scout leader criticized the piece. For one, the "badge" in question is not a Boy Scout merit badge but in fact a Cub Scout belt loop. I concede that point. As for the central theme of my column, that scouting's attempt to modernize through a kabuki theater video game badge is lame and that I am a comically inept outdoorsman, well, I stand by that. And if, as the letter queries, my boys show an interest in scouting I'd be happy to enroll them. Getting kids outdoors in organized activities is great. All for it.

And now I move on to my next cause: punching puppies and shouting angry, negative comments at the flag of our nation. Yes, this is sarcasm. My legal department has advised me to state this at all times. My legal department is not real. I do not have one.

This is my weekly column for the Sunday, May 16, 2010 edition of the Hibbing Daily Tribune.

Away without kids
By Aaron J. Brown

My current stage in life, a father of three young boys, frightens those without children. This phase provides, after all, a lot of screaming and fluids coupled with a perpetual thundering sound of uncertain origin. Meantime, parents of older children offer only bemused eye rolling. This time my wife and I are experiencing is a special chapter, kind of like some sort of parental puberty. A wife and home. Three preschool boys. One full time job. A bunch of other jobs, including one you’re reading right now. It’s all so interesting and yet it’s a big, fat cliché.

If people weren’t producing children, who would be alive to buy Diet Coke and bad debt in 2045? If those children weren’t difficult, why would so many of them end up like so many of the warped individuals we now know as adults? Of course they’re difficult, and necessary. That’s the point. This train runs on time, forever.

Nevertheless, sometimes I can’t help longing for the next leg of the journey. I know I’m supposed to be “enjoying this while I can” and “cherishing these special memories,” recollections so precious as to be cast in porcelain, painted and sold at an alarming mark-up. I get it, OK. Hold your letters. I do enjoy the all the stories that our boys play out every day, and I’d share some of those with you right now if this fact wasn’t part of the problem. You see, I want to talk about other things.

Recently my wife Christina and I had the opportunity to go somewhere without the children. This is a thing that other parents talk about, something people do sometimes. It’s supposed to be a big deal, supposedly involving sun, beaches and intricate stage shows starring people whose names we’ve heard on TV. In our case we were going to a wedding a few towns over and decided to stay overnight at a casino hotel. The primary mission of the trip was to engage in conversational topics other than children. The mission started rough as we dropped off three cases of the boys’ old clothes at a secondhand store (a task that begot endless anecdotes of the things the boys broke while wearing the various shirts and pants). But we rallied as the day went on with some free time in the schedule to drive around and chat.

At the wedding reception the usual pack mentality kicks in and we sought refuge with a bunch of people we knew, logic being that by working together we’d have a better chance at a good table and a reliable pipeline to and from the bar. It was all working to plan. There was only one problem. In grouping with the people we did – people we know, all generally within 10 years of our ages – we simultaneously gathered with people who also had loud, moist, destructive children (who are deeply loved and well cared for).

All of us sought to escape the topic. You know. The kid talk. Is Johnny going to kindergarten next year? How’s Mindy’s rash? Did Little Stevie do something adorable the other day? You bet he did! Trying to avoid the topic was like trying to ignore gravity. Remember those old cartoons where someone ran off a ledge and kept running and didn’t fall because he didn’t KNOW he was over the ledge, but then once he realized where he was the gravity took over? Yeah, that’s like trying to avoid kid talk with other parents.

The day will come when our kids are a little older, able to sustain silence when not asleep and involved in their own activities and social lives. I’m told by the wily veterans that my life will change along with all of that. I’m hoping that when that distant dawn arrives you’ll ask me what I think about a topic related to science, history or philosophy. Until then (but not today) ask me about my adorable children. Put that down!

Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune. Read more at MinnesotaBrown.com or in his book “Overburden: Modern Life on the Iron Range.”

Here's a first: a show about originality. This Saturday morning's edition of "Between You and Me" on 91.7 KAXE explores the concept of "what makes something original?" just in time for the Iron Range Original Music Association's big show coming up. I'll be joining the fray with a tired old essay, worn down by the gentle hand of repetition and sloth.

Just kidding! It will be so original your mind will explode with a distinctive spray pattern!

"Between You and Me" showcases the people and culture of northern Minnesota every Saturday morning from 10 a.m. to noon at 91.7 FM in the region or streaming live all over the world at www.kaxe.org. Phone calls and music are the weapon of choice, but they also keep interlopers like me waiting in the wings to do our plate spinning act if the show stalls out. We call it e-Vaudeville. Enjoy!

Spiking iron ore prices have been a boon to U.S. Steel whose stock jumped 5 percent recently. According to this article from The Street, all of this is thanks specifically to U.S. Steel's Iron Range properties and vertical integration. Just file this thought away, people. A little something to remember at some point. Not sure why yet.

I've been staying out of the tit-for-tat political posting as much as possible, trying to focus on the real world. That's my new thing, see. But there's no ignoring the implications of today's United States Steelworkers union endorsement of Mark Dayton in the Minnesota DFL gubernatorial primary over DFL endorsed candidate Margaret Anderson Kelliher.

Two words: Iron Range.

As much as the Iron Range delegates, including several steelworkers, delivered for Margaret at the DFL convention last month the Iron Range primary voters (joining others around the state) are now going to be divided, no matter what. The Iron Range people do not reflexively vote with the Steelworkers, who organize in the region's largest industry (iron mining), in elections, but the Range political structure is closely integrated with the steelworkers and if their people are knocking doors and putting up signs for Dayton, Margaret needs other hands working for her.

No, this does not secure victory for Dayton, ensure defeat for Kelliher or do anything to the other major candidate, former DFL House Leader Matt Entenza. But it takes a scenario that I recently believed favored Kelliher and makes it a long, tough slog. No matter what. I'm saying this past tense. It was a slog. We just don't know who won yet.

PS: Just so you know, this Steelworkers endorsement seems to be related to genuine affection for Dayton, something related to his work years ago behind the scenes on some labor deals, not negatives on Margaret. It probably would have happened if the endorsee was Rybak, Thissen or anyone other than Tom Rukavina.

PPS: This post does not constitute an endorsement on my part; it's merely an observation.

Today saw a major breakthrough in the Canisteo Pit story on northern Minnesota's Iron Range. This old mine pit has seen rising waters since the end of mining activity decades ago, waters that now threaten, and occasionally moisten, the city of Bovey. Today the DNR announced plans to advance its vision of a solution over the wishes of the local authority, the Western Mesabi Mine Planning Board. (That's right, I live in a place where that's a real thing with real power). The mine planning board is suitably upset over this development, but the risk in doing nothing this year would be losing state bonding funds won last year. There's more drama to come in all likelihood, but this signals that the pit will be drained for real -- a good thing.

Story from WDIO.

CLARIFICATION: It's been pointed out to me that the DNR plan does not fully drain the pit, rather it partially drains the pit. The idea is that the flood risk would be abated.

It's that extra special season where I'm too busy to post but there's tons going on. There'll be a few more posts tonight. Most of my stress right now is coming from the upcoming Dylan Days, an arts event like no other based in the heart of Minnesota's Iron Range May 27-30, 2010. I'm laying out the literary journal this week with final publicity pushes next week until the event itself. In addition, now begin the interviews. This year the media talks I do aren't only about Dylan Days, but also Iron Range Tourism's "Come Home Bob" campaign, a project to which I've lent my pitchman skill set.

This morning I talked to Lisa on independent public radio station KUMD's high class morning show in Duluth about Come Home Bob. It was a fun interview. Check it out. The most amusing/insightful exchange probably occurred in regards to the image at right, the new Zimmy's marquee featuring Bob Dylan's high school girlfriend.

Sometimes I wonder why I, a community college instructor from the Iron Range, have this strange role. And yet I'm glad I do.

I'm exploring a few concepts for future blog posts, stories and columns. One is the persistent foreclosure rate in places like Itasca County on the western Iron Range. The rates are improving elsewhere but not here. I'm also going to be looking at the fiscal health of Range (and nearby) towns as they face more LGA cuts in the current state political fisticuffs. Finally, I'll be doing some interviews on the concept of "entrepreneurship" in northern Minnesota and would love if anyone had some ideas. Seriously, give your big, fat MBAs a workout and tell me what that means. I'm actually asking the question. Better yet, common folk, tell me what YOU think the word means.

Use the comments or the e-mail in my about page. I'm going interactive, baby, and there's no turning back.

When I was in college studying print journalism (which is a little like being in the Roman Empire studying the concept of "forever") I had the chance to write freelance copy for Wayne Nelson at Business North. It is from Wayne that I learned the important lesson that just because a son has the same name as a father doesn't mean he is a junior. Perhaps subconsciously, I refused to name any of my three sons after myself in years to follow.

Anyway, Wayne is a great northern Minnesota journalist and editor. It is for this reason, and for my friends who now run the publication, that I mention Wayne's retirement party this Thursday, May 13, from 5-7 p.m. The location will be at 2024 W. Superior Street, the Venue. It's an open house with light hors d'oeuvres and beverages. An RSVP is requested to maria@businessnorth.com if you would like to attend.

This is my weekly column for the Sunday, May 9, 2010 edition of the Hibbing Daily Tribune.

Video killed the merit badge
By Aaron J. Brown

By now you may have heard that the Boy Scouts of America plan to offer a merit badge for playing video games. This is the precise kind of story that national media outlets repeat and amplify, as Grandpa Simpson would say, to “angry up the blood” of older readers and viewers. Video games? That’s not right. That’s not merit. Video games are brain rot worse than the TV cartoons. That’s what we’re supposed to think when we hear the news. Everyone who thinks the opposite is currently playing video games and programming the software that will one day replace us, you specifically. Me, I’m willing to roll with the changes.

I have to disclose my biases here. I’m a failed Boy Scout, a rogue scout who couldn’t tie knots and who dropped out at the lowly rank of Tenderfoot. I understand the value of the Boy Scouts, and the Girl Scouts and all the vaguely scout-like organizations that keep kids busy so they don’t wreck the house. I get it, OK. Totally. But I’m no Eagle Scout.

That said it’s important to note that the Boy Scout video game badge is not awarded for mastering “Call of Duty XII: When the Metal Ones Come for You” or “Grand Theft Auto Infinity, Now With Bonus Car Jacking.” Instead the badge is awarded for understanding the balance between video games and chores, the need to put video game content in context and something else that was totally lame. Almost sheepishly, Boy Scout administrators added that they were losing potential members to video games and that this was a possible solution. A-ha! Now we’re talking about the Boy Scouts I remember.

Let me take you back. When I was a kid a bunch of my friends joined the Boy Scouts. I didn’t. Later I kind of wished I had because my friends seemed to be having fun and the uniforms seemed to buy street cred with the teachers, something that carries a lot of weight with nerds. I was a nerd. It was around this time that a Boy Scout recruiter spoke to our class. In addition to all the traditional benefits of scouting, the camping, fellowship and sloganeering, anyone who signed up that day would receive a “Rock Lord” toy. (Rock Lords were spinoffs from Go-Bots; same deal but with rocks instead of robots). And while it’s true that I might have joined anyway on account of peer pressure or the unshakable desire to build a lean-to in the woods, I carry with me the cold truth that the Rock Lord pushed me over the top.

All the current teeth-gnashing over the video game merit badge means is that the price of pushing marginally interested children into scouting has increased dramatically since the 1980s. Instead of a mass-produced piece of foreign plastic based on a storyline involving sentient rocks (which the Boy Scouts probably acquired for pennies apiece, if they paid anything at all), membership drives today demand alteration of the organization’s core structure. The next step will be shiny pins to designate Facebook friends and the consolidation of the 12 points of the Scout Law into something that can be re-tweeted.

My time in Boy Scouts was, in some respects, a period of abject failure. I never learned to swim, remain confounded by tents to this day, and – as previously mentioned – can’t tie off much more than a shoe or a stiff drink. But my memories ring true today. I remember hanging off the tailgate of a moving truck at a scout jamboree with an unlicensed driver at the wheel. There was an entire year of Weeblos when my friend’s dad, the temporary scout master, let us play board games and watch hockey games through their giant old school satellite dish instead of doing anything related to scouting. These are great memories, mostly because none of it was or should have been sanctioned by the authorities. Maybe it should stay that way.

Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune. Read more at MinnesotaBrown.com and in his book “Overburden: Modern Life on the Iron Range.”

Damn if I didn't just write and record an essay about teeth. Guy writes and records a thing like that, he sure as hell hopes someone listens to it. That's where you come in. The topic of this week's edition of "Between You and Me" on 91.7 KAXE is teeth. I'll be joining the fray as I always do with another meticulously crafted piece of whimsy think. The subject choice emerged when host and producer Heidi Holtan met an adorable little girl who like to "play" Between You and Me at home. The girl's mom told Heidi that her topic that week was "teeth." Somewhere in the sky, a cuteness cloud collided with a "Awww" front and here we are people. It is what it is.

There is a larger question here. Can a large, respected community radio station turn teeth into two hours of good programming? This is so meta. I'm being so meta right now! Tune in, OK! 10 a.m. to noon on Saturday on 91.7 FM in northern Minnesota or streaming online all over the world at www.kaxe.org. My thing on teeth will give you something to chew on, and that's not all, there's molar.

Fans of last night's post on the British election have probably figured out that the result of the voting is unclear and subject to several more days of wrangling. The Times of London has a really cool interactive map of the election results that also features profile information on each constituency explain the area's economy, demographics and history. Hot, hot poli geek action here, folks.

"Balk" at The Awl, one of my favorite all-purpose blogs, posted several similar observations about the inexplicable joy of watching election night in the U.K. The Awl, incidentally, refers to Britain as "Knifecrime Island," a lovely, random element in its eclectic style.

Today is election day in the United Kingdom, which is at least as much fun for American political nerds to watch as it is for baseball fans to watch the All-Star game. I am both, so I would know. There's plenty on the internet for you to read on this topic, but not much for the American reader who only cares a tiny little bit. Allow me to fill that void. Let's consider the advantages of watching British election coverage:

• Three major parties, not just two. Additionally, parts of Great Britain are run by wild-eyed regional parties. It's like an aggressive Canada, which is a really hot fantasy of mine.
  
• You get to geek out over the tense reporting of early returns without contemplating the draconian hellscape that would occur if your side loses. Our side won the war, yo.
  
• You get to compare poll results with actual votes after a legally limited campaign season filled with only moderately uninformed, biased speculation.
• You get to watch people waving different colored signs scream with joy, disappointment or (in the parliamentary system) abject confusion over what it means if the Welsh nationals picked off a seat in Gwhhhylx.

Your own political ideology doesn't matter. It's like watching football game. If the wrong party wins, you drink a beer and watch some other country screw its own self up. And who can tell anyway? The Conservative Party in Great Britain is home to people who couldn't win a Republican primary in America. There are two quasi-left parties, but on some issues the ruling Labour Party is to the left of the Liberal Democrats, who despite the name can be centrist on several other issues. It's just good clean madcap fun. And as the results come in, all the candidates for parliament in a given area stand on stage and listed to the totals wearing brightly colored ribbons signifying their party affiliation. AND, even though the events of the night will determine the next prime minister, you're really only voting for your own local representative. It's like if the Speaker of the U.S. House was the head of state, but not really because ENGLAND IS A MONARCHY. They have a QUEEN!

It's a beautiful thing. I'll be watching. There's a live feed at the BBC. C-SPAN usually carries the coverage as well. Here some additional notes as you watch tonight:

• Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg spent a year in Minnesota attending college. That may not seem like much but when I think about it I spent a year in Dubuque, Iowa attending college and it was a pretty significant experience. I smoked, read, wrote and figured stuff out. Clegg's election would make him the first Golden Gopher to lead Britain since Dave Winfield's brief and controversial tenure at 10 Downing Street.
• I am not related to Gordon Brown, so far as I know.
• In the UK, Red=Labour, Blue=Conservative and Yellow=Liberal Democrats. In America, as you know, blue=Democratic (liberal) and red=Republican (conservative). So the colors are reversed. But here's a question, and bonus points to the person who explains this. In the U.S., the colors were D=Red and R=Blue for many years. You can still find pre-2000 election wrap-ups that use the British political colors. Why the change? Seriously, that's a question I'm asking.

(GIF from Social and Spatial Equalities)

My essay "10,000 lakes, 10,000 dreams" was selected to appear in the Voices for the Lakes project organized by the 1000 Friends of Minnesota organization. Several Minnesota writers entered works for consideration. The goal is to bring attention to the issues and cultural impact of Minnesota's lakes. Starting this week they are releasing one of the essays each day until they've all been published. Mine hasn't been posted yet, but there are some good pieces up now. You can follow Voices for the Lakes on Facebook, Twitter or the "Potluck" blog.

So we've learned that Newsweek is for sale after this past' year's coordinated campaign to reduce its circulation and become more of a niche publication, and that its editor Jon Meacham is trying to lead an investment group to buy it outright. I might be speculating beyond my pay grade, but isn't it interesting that print media properties have dropped in value to the point where the shlubs who actually do the writing can afford to buy them? I'm all for it, mind you, but YAAAH! (And, yes, I know Meacham is also a best-selling author whose income exceeds that of your average shlub).

This trend will continue. When the big media conglomerates that bought up all the papers in rural Minnesota implode (like a star!) the best outcome might be local people who know the communities and media buying up the once valuable properties at bargain prices and then running them independently in a way that focuses on news gathering and community involvement. How droll!

Meacham's on The Daily Show tonight. Should be good.

I take special interest in the three congressional districts that constitute the historical, theoretical State of Superior. Naturally, there's my home district of MN-08 (represented by Jim Oberstar, a Democrat). But so too do I make casual note of northern Wisconsin's WI-07 (Dave Obey, whose been in congress even longer than Oberstar) and the Upper Peninsula of Michigan's MI-01 (Bart Stupak, of "Stupak Twelve and/or Seven" fame). The State of Superior is the state that, had mapmakers and politicians gotten it right in the 1830s, would today be a sky-tinted, deeply forested, heavily mined purple state that would corner the market on fresh water in 2035 and have all the iPods it wants forever. The dream lives on.

Anyway, Michigan's Stupak retired last month and today Rep. Obey, 71, announces his retirement. These three guys -- Obestar, Obey and Stupak -- all represent a unique part of the Democratic coalition. All are pro-life and pro-gun and have turned light blue or toss-up districts into impenetrable Democratic fortresses. It's fair to assume that the heavy headwinds of a more conservative election cycle pushed Stupak and Obey toward their retirement decision, but it's also foolish to think that these districts are "gimmees" for the Republicans. I think it'd be fair to call them both "too close to call" right now.

Note to my fellow Minnesota "Fightin' Eighthers" -- be you of Democratic or Republican stripes -- Oberstar is not retiring this year but when he does in some to several years the news will drop exactly like this. How comfortable are you with the organization and candidate bench you have now? Long serving representatives like these three gentleman have their political advantages, but one of the drawbacks is the difficulty in calling up a battle ready campaign on short notice.

I don't subscribe to the notion that Minnesota's Eighth will become a pure tossup when Oberstar goes, merely that it will become a lighter blue with opportunity for both parties. There are institutional factors that make MN-08 more Democratic. The GOP might have an opportunity to win WI-07 or MI-01 this year, but mostly because those districts are more like Minnesota's present Iron Range in a "worst case scenario" 30 years from now, with the young families boiled away and an even higher retiree population. Nevertheless, redistricting and more favorable Democratic climates of the future will make these districts fun to watch for the next decade, or until my State of Superior dreams come true.

Seriously, we'll have all the fresh water and minerals.

The third "Come Home, Bob" video got some play on local news last night (Northland News Center, Channels 3, 6 and 11).



I don't know what it means when the fourth estate not only accepts but actively participates in a satirical marketing campaign, but that's what has happened here. Maybe I just don't want to think about it. Anyway, we really would like to see Bob Dylan back in Hibbing. That part is real. For serious.

Feast your eyes on the third video from Iron Range Tourism inviting hometown legend Bob Dylan back to the Iron Range (Come Home Bob). It probably now goes without saying that we're having some fun with this. We hope Bob (and you) like the homespun humor.



I made note some time ago that my participation in this video has made me the top Google result for "Obscure Regional Author." I told this to someone and they said, "Why would anyone google those words?" The answer is "to avoid the vanity involved in googling one's self."

Video 2 ("Sweetening the pot")

Video 1 ("Come Home Bob" introduction)

This is my weekly column for the Sunday, May 2, 2010 edition of the Hibbing Daily Tribune. A version of this piece aired on last week's episode of "Between You and Me" on 91.7 KAXE.

When junk becomes genetic
By Aaron J. Brown

With spring safely here we can begin to consider procrastinating on the ritual of spring cleaning, a practice built on rendering judgment upon the things we find in our house. As things accumulate they must be sorted. Some things, because of their shape, status or size, defy such organization. They’ve got to go somewhere, though, so a place must be created: it’s called the junk drawer. The junk drawer is the holy alter of spring cleaning, the epicenter of winter hoarding. This year I’ve got a problem. The junk drawer in our house has been occupied by a rogue power.

It’s been awhile since I’ve toted out the fact that I was raised on a junkyard, became a writer and can barf out junk metaphors like a machine. Well, anyway, that’s all true and the one thing I can say best defines junk is that junk is unwieldy and inconvenient to store. In addition, most junk also contains at least one but probably several elements of danger. Junk is pointy. Junk is abrasive. Junk seeps chemicals when you bang it around too much. All of this, according to the so-called experts, is bad for children. I’m not going to argue this point because to do so I’d actually have to read a parenting book for evidence and have you ever tried to do that? I mean, really tried?

Over the growth of our babies the more dangerous junk found its way into safer locations or was entered into the American waste disposal system where it will only endanger the children of tomorrow, or more specifically their robot great-grandchildren who will eat the junk and get even fatter. Old scissors, loose screws, poky things of all kinds were moved up from one drawer to the next and then eventually out into the garage, which is a whole other story. So for a time early in the lives of our three preschool boys, BM – which stands for, among other things, before mobility, we still had a junk drawer full of treasures like pencil erasers, plastic promotional swag and pens from businesses our grandparents owned during the 1960s. That junk drawer is no more.

As we moved all of these things, supposedly to safer locations but mostly to points unknown or at least unknown to me, the drawer in our house became occupied by the belongings of our oldest boy Henry. He started when he was 2, almost 3. What kinds of things does such a child possess that would remain uncategorized to the point of needing a junk drawer? Well, you’d be surprised. It started with coloring books. Coloring books are the bastard children of the book world. They are, technically, books but not proper enough to be seen with the books on the shelf you aren’t supposed to color. They are not art, not really; they do not represent the inner vision of the child. Instead coloring books show what color the child wished to use on the moose, or Spiderman, or the Thomas the Tank Engine. Later, Henry started adding unclassified toys, usually the inexplicable objects acquired in Happy Meals or other marketing schemes. Then came the old quasi-toys found in mom and dad’s ancient supply of 1980s playthings, too cool to toss but too uncool to hang with the trains and trucks in the real toy box.

One factor remains, however. Anytime you mess with the boy’s junk drawer he gets ticked off. Don’t you know that junk is actually stuff? Important stuff. Can’t throw that out. We didn’t teach him this truth. It is, in fact, genetic.

Aaron J. Brown is a columnist for the Hibbing Daily Tribune. Read more at MinnesotaBrown.com or in his book “Overburden: Modern Life on the Iron Range.”