Thursday, August 09, 2012 By Aaron Brown
I am delighted and dismayed by this news. I am delighted by the sandwiches. This is pretty big news for the kinda fat people who are fueling this nation's slow recovery from self-inflicted economic decline. I am dismayed that I am powerless to avoid eating at least a few of these sandwiches, which will slow my life-long goal of not being noticeably lumpy while wearing polo shirts.
But the scales are tipped toward delight, as I live in a place where this is HUGE news. These sandwich places are enough to create the sense of optimism needed for the region to lift itself into a new era!
Wait, though. What if we just eat the sandwiches and that's it? What if nothing happens after that?
Sandwiches are voting. It's a metaphor.